A 2-Step Process For Balancing A Heavy Workload And Your (Frustrated) Partner
Because you truly care about your partner, it's up to you to figure out how to find that balance:
Establish rules.
If the problem is your reluctance to take breaks and not the demands of the job itself, then you'll need to reflect on this. Why do you struggle with removing yourself from work when there's nothing urgent going on? Maybe you agree to start small: Abide by a no phone rule during dinner. Plan a weekly date night where technology is forbidden. Before you book a flight for a weekend away, discuss what kind of trip it's going to be - including how frequently work check-ins will be tolerated. Let your partner know that you'll update them on major work projects that may require additional attention so they don't lose it every time you turn to work.
Consider the reverse.
What if it was your spouse who was constantly plugged in? How would you handle it? Would you want to have a conversation about how their workaholic behavior was impacting your relationship? Probably, right? You'd want to hear that they would rather be totally relaxed with you and not anxious about checking email all the time. Considering how simple (and thoughtful) it is to relay this very message, if you haven't done so yet, do it now. Be patient and respect their rightful frustrations, and do what you can to create harmony by making it clear that your career isn't the only thing you care about. You know you'd want the same from them, so it's the logical move.
While having an honest conversation might alleviate relationship stress in the short-term, it’s important to look at the long-term, too. If you’re worried that using vacation time, or enjoying your weekends, will prevent you from being successful, from rising to the next level, then you need to ask yourself who’s applying this pressure: you or your boss? If it’s you, then that’s an easier fix (albeit one that may need you to work through a few issues). But if it’s your boss or your company, then it might be worth it to ask yourself if all this stress is worth it.
