Miscarriages and stillbirths can bring about a complex type of grief. You may feel a mix of emotions surrounding the loss, including guilt, anxiety, depression or even relief. You may find these emotions difficult to express, and the stigma around grieving an unborn child can make the process more challenging. However, it’s important to recognize your grief and understand that, just like any other loss, it will take time to heal. 

Here are some tips for grieving a miscarriage or stillbirth.

• Take care of yourself. Experiencing a pregnancy loss is not only difficult emotionally but also physically. Take time to allow your body to heal and tend to your emotions. Do your best to get enough sleep and eat nutritious meals. These acts of self-care can help heal both your body and mental health.

• Write a letter to your baby. Writing your feelings can help you to come to terms with the loss. Let your baby know how you felt about them, what you wished their life would have been like and anything else that comes to mind. Tread lightly, though, and do this exercise when support is available, as it may bring up challenging emotions.

• Join a support group. Joining a grief group, whether specifically for pregnancy loss or not, can help you build a community with people who understand what you are going through. Listen to the stories of others and consider trying ways of coping that have worked for them. 

• Communicate with loved ones, especially your partner, if possible. You may or may not have told others you were expecting a child–either way, it presents its own set of challenges. Share your feelings with your loved ones and allow them to support you (whether through taking on some of your responsibilities, bringing you meals or providing a distraction) through the grieving process. 

• Allow yourself to grieve like you would any other death. Whether you have other children or not, you are still a parent and have every right to allow yourself to work through the grieving process. For more on coping with grief, read Tips For Dealing With Grief. 

Grieving a miscarriage or stillbirth is a deeply personal journey. Consider seeking support from a mental health professional or your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) to receive guidance and support as you navigate the complex process of healing.