Most people experience criticism or conflict at work at some point. Perhaps a client expresses dissatisfaction with a product, your co-worker cuts you off during a meeting or your supervisor notes you missed a deadline.

Sometimes, it can be difficult to let go of criticism. You might begin to make assumptions and believe the other party dislikes you or begin to overly criticize yourself. Unchecked, these thought processes can be harmful, especially in a work environment. 

However, you can respond to conflict and criticism healthily while acknowledging your emotions. 

• Don’t make assumptions. It can be tempting to assume someone dislikes you or is attacking you. Avoid jumping to conclusions. When you react as if your assumptions are true, if they are not, this can strain relationships and create roadblocks to success. Take a second to evaluate the situation and give the other person the benefit of the doubt. 

• Acknowledge your feelings. It’s OK to have complicated or negative feelings. What matters is that you react appropriately and move forward. Take a moment to understand why you are taking a comment or action to heart. Try writing in a journal, talking with a trusted person (preferably someone outside of work) or meditating to help you process. 

• Pause before reacting. When you are hurt, it’s easy to act without thinking by making a face, saying something snarky or sending a passive-aggressive email. Before reacting, pause and try to stay calm. Reflect on whether your next action will be hurtful or unprofessional.  

• Build confidence. Working on your self-esteem can better equip you to handle problems at work without doubting yourself and your abilities. Reflect on your past successes and strengths. Remember that you can improve your work by asking questions and learning more about unfamiliar areas. 

• Communicate respectfully. Talking with the person who criticized you can be beneficial. Understanding a person’s actions and gathering feedback can help you process your feelings appropriately. If you feel yourself struggling with your emotions, it is OK to take a break from the conversation and continue it later.  

• Listen to feedback. No one is perfect; let your ego go. Remember that feedback and criticism can be helpful, but not every person knows how to deliver it properly. Consider what is being communicated and ask questions about how you can improve. If you have made a mistake, acknowledge it and treat it as a learning experience.  

Harassment and discrimination  

Sometimes, a person’s actions are completely unacceptable; they are discriminatory, inappropriate or disrespectful of boundaries. Unfortunately, people often use language designed for responding to criticism or minor conflicts, such as “don’t take things personally” and “don’t make assumptions,” and twist them to disregard a victim's emotions. The line between a small incident and discrimination can become blurry, making it hard to know what to do.  

Workplace discrimination and harassment are never OK. If you suspect you are being harassed or discriminated against or even need assistance resolving a conflict, contact your Human Resources department. They can help you with appropriate actions for the situation and hold someone accountable if they have harmed you. Provide evidence of harassment if possible. In cases where Human Resources is unresponsive, legal or government organizations like the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission may be able to assist.