When you’ve lost a loved one, the holidays can often intensify feelings of grief and longing. Family gatherings and multiple celebrations can cause stress over social expectations to be joyful or grateful. Be gentle with yourself and take the holidays one step at a time with the tips provided.

• Remember that it’s okay to not feel “okay.” Pain and grief are a normal part of loss, and there is no one way of healing. The abundance of holiday cheer of those around you might lead to feelings of guilt or resentment as you manage your grief. Accepting whatever place your emotions are at can help you get through the holiday season even if it might still be challenging.

• Set boundaries with others. You don’t have to pack your calendar with activities or participate in celebrations if you’re not ready. It’s okay to say ‘no’ to invitations or leave an event early.

• Prepare for grief triggers. For some, empty seats at the table or certain holiday rituals can bring forth a rush of memories and emotions. Plan for this possibility and verbalize your feelings to trusted others.

• Honor those who have passed. Memorializing the person you grieve for can help you heal. Visiting their resting place, donating in their name, lighting a candle for them or playing their favorite music can be therapeutic.

• Meet yourself where you are at. Maybe you used to have a fully decorated house, host celebrations or give lots of gifts. It’s okay to skip or minimize your previous traditions to focus on your wellbeing.

• Seek support. The holidays can be stressful even without the added grief of a lost loved one. There’s no better time to ask for help. Look for support groups, contact a mental health professional or reach out to your employee assistance program for help managing your grief during the holidays.